The finishing Line...

This will be my last journal entry. Documenting our journey over the last two year has helped me so much to cope with the many burdens that my family has encountered, and the support of my on-line friends has really helped. I thank all of you who took the time and trouble to give positive comments throughout. During my deepest darkest days, just writing it all down seemed to help me get through it, and looking back at earlier posts helped me see how far we had come as a family, and how things were slowly turning around for us.

If I had known four years ago before I stepped on that plane, what was awaiting us in our new life in the USA, it is fair to say that I would have turned around and stepped back into the easy life that I was leaving. It is also fair to say that having gone through everything that we did, we have emerged from the wreckage as much better people and have learned so much from our experiences.

I named this blog 'Enlightenment for the Sleepy' as a record of my own wake-up call. It was to chart my Enlightenment as I faced trials and tribulations that I had never imagined that I would face, after previously living an almost charmed life.

I knew- even at the beginning- that God had a new plan for me and my family and that I had to face it head on. I had faith that we would come through it but that didn't stop me from having sleepless nights, days of crying and wondering if we really would be able to feed our children from one day to the next.

It seemed that from the day my husband broke his leg, we had a domino effect of bad luck and faced one catastrophe  after another. My husband almost died, my middle son almost died and we were defrauded out of every penny of our life savings within days of arriving here in Florida. Eventually we lost our home as well. But my husband pulled through, my son pulled through and that was all that mattered. My very first lesson was that our loved ones are priceless and good health is all that matters.

Every day I thank God for my husband and children. I often look at my middle son Milano, and cringe at the thought of the empty space our lives would have had without him in it. 

He is a feisty six-year-old who makes sure we know he is here every second of every day. He is also so very loving and his brothers too would have been so very lost without him.

I think of other families who weren't so lucky and who have lost loved ones, and I thank God again for sparing us. One of my oldest and very dear  friends lost her twenty-one-year-old son a year ago in a freak accident, and my heart bleeds for her every day. 'As long as we're healthy' was a mantra I lived by whenever we were blindsided yet again.

We are by no means prosperous. We are still living pretty much from paycheck to paycheck, but occasionally now we can have treats. Yesterday was an example, my husband took us to Legoland and we all had a ball. All the time we were there though, I was reflecting on how far we had come in four years.

I get gentle reminders sometimes. Friday was one of them. I went to Target with Rio to buy some 'thank you' cards for the boys teachers. My husband suggested that I take my debit card but I refused on the grounds that I had enough cash to purchase a couple of cards. How I wish I'd listened to him. I believe that was a gentle prompt from the universe and I should have taken it even knowing that I wouldn't be using it. I got to the checkout and the guy in front of me had a cart of food and two baby girls with him. He was taking some time and discussing something with the cashier but I couldn't understand what they were saying as they were talking in Spanish. Eventually I got the picture as the man handed back an item at a time as he tried to get the bill down enough for his card to be accepted. It broke my heart. It took me back to those days when we would have ten or fifteen dollars in our wallet to feed the family, and we had to use a calculator as we went around the store, picking up items only to put them back and deliberate over what we needed the most. We had our own pretty close calls at the checkout, but thankfully never had to endure the embarrassment that this young man had to face. Of course, had I taken my card with me, I would have paid for the items that he had to relinquish; as it was I had enough cash for the cards alone, and I couldn't help him as much as I desperately wanted to. It broke my heart. If I had been thinking straight I would have put my card down, given him the cash and returned later for the cards~ but I was in too much shock and not thinking straight. I just wanted to cry.There was another guy behind me who was muttering for the duration and shifting his weight letting us all know he was in a rush and this young guy was nothing more than an obstacle to him. I figured that the older guy will have his own life lessons to learn, and I imagined that patience and compassion would be two of them. I left the store with a heavy heart and it has weighed on me since.

I have learned every day now to be thankful for the smallest of things, things that I took for granted every day of my life~ in my old life.

I felt that I had my share of problems prior to emigrating~ going through a divorce being my worst~ but they were nothing in the grand scheme of things. I picked myself up easily, started my own business and did very well. I considered myself a grateful person and I thanked God for my growing business, my large house and prestigious  cars, but really I took every bit of it for granted. My biggest dilemma was whether to take the Range Rover or the Mercedes to work each day. Really! I remember standing on the driveway on a morning trying to figure out which vehicle to plant my backside in. I solved that by using the Range Rover for cold wet days, and the convertible for the sunnier days. I kept my third new car (a Ford Focus RS, ) for Saturday use only. Do you hate me now? You'll hate me more when 

I tell you that I eventually traded those cars in for a new Porsche convertible.

Please don't. I'm a new improved me.

I have come so far in four years. If it makes you feel better, let me tell you that I now drive a ten year old Chrysler and my husband drives an ancient Volvo wagon (estate) that has over 200,000 miles on the clock and is still going strong. Cars mean nothing to me now. God solved my dilemma of which car to drive, long term!

I wish I could tell you all the ways that I have changed, all the things that I appreciate so much. If you really want to know, just read back on my older posts and you will see. I have less material possessions but have so much more of the real important thing in life. There is an abundance of love in my life. I am actually very grateful for the harsh lessons that I was forced to learn. I am embarrassed at my former self.

Every day I thank God. Every single day, several times a day. 

While my story hasn't ended completely~ we still have the outcome of our criminal case against the man who defrauded us to come to fruition~ I think I can leave it here now. I'll keep this blog up for a week or so and then I'm going to have it redesigned and wipe  everything. I want a fresh start, a clean slate. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life, etc, etc. A year ago I ordered a book from a company that prints blogs out for you, I'll order another then wipe this slate clean.

I will still be blogging, but I will be decorating my home , making cakes and reading books~ and moving forward with my life. I don't have a crystal ball to see what other goodies God has in store for me. To be honest I'd really rather not know. I'll cross my fingers and my heart for my future. I'll try to take it on the chin, whiter it is, but I really, really, am grateful for those lessons. Honestly. I've been enlightened, I'm facing my future with my eyes open and I'm wide awake.

Not like this snoring Guy!

Thank you for following.

Harry Potter boxed Set from Folio Society

Just a short post today to show you what arrived in the mail for me...

My Folio Society's boxed set of all of the Harry Potter books in an adorable collectors case. It even has stickers for you to scatter over the case to make it look more like a boarding school crate.

 I won't be doing this. they will be kept intact, although I will be reading all of the books, before putting them safely away to keep for my eldest son one day.

Also, I have an instagram account: mypoppypatch

I would love you to follow me. I post daily on Instagram.

Boys bedroom Makeover

Well my boys made it back home safe and sound from the field trip~phew!

Rio had enjoyed it but was a little apprehensive as he was split up from Cairo. I think we will wait another year before we put his name down for any more trips. They added his name automatically so we went along with it. He had some fun, but Rio is a Mommy's boy at heart.

So I mentioned in my last post that were were hoping to get the gutter shelves up in the boys bedroom. Well, luckily for me, my husband had some spare time and popped them up for me. It was so simple and easy, and they look so cute! The link to the tutorial post that I found is in my last post. It cost all of $15!

The wall looks much better. You know what it's like when you can picture the finished article in your head and just can't wait for it to happen, well it was lovely to see it materialize.

We even had some left over that fit on the tiny wall next to Rio's bed so he was thrilled to have his books next to him. 

(it's the picture that is wonky, not the shelf, lol)

then we added some coat hooks

I still have some tweaking to do. The curtain tie backs need changing out, and I'm going to put my new sewing machine to good use and run up some cute scatter cushions for Milano's bed, and I still need to play with the shelving that is on the wall opposite the beds.

The boys seem to love it! 

This week we'll be starting on Cairo's bedroom. My husband has made a deal with me that if I do the cutting in, he will roller the rest (because I get paint everywhere). I'm really excited to be able to decorate again. When we first moved here we felt limited as to what we could do in a rental, but since we're keeping the colors very neutral, we can change the paint. Our bedroom will be the next one in line.

we have Parents evening at School tonight. I am so dreading it!

Have a great day x

How much do you worry?...

Today Cairo and Rio are going on a field trip with their day care club. Milano has a rash and his Asthma is not good so he is staying home.

It will be Rio's very first field trip. I am so nervous. I worry that they will lose him. I worry that he will wander off alone and get lost. 

Cairo promised that he will look after his little brother, but I still worry.

Do you worry like this? 

Every time my boys go anywhere without me (which isn't very often) I take their photographs. They think this is so they can remember the day of the trip. 

Secretly I do it as insurance so that if the very worst was to happen (God forbid) then I have a photograph of the child taken on the day which documents their clothing etc.

I also put a piece of paper in each of their pockets with our name and phone number on it.

I also dress them identical so that it is easier for other people to identify what they are looking for: 'Have you seen a little boy dressed like this?" ~ my mother taught me this one. She did it with my three brothers whenever they went to the beach.

I worry a lot. Perhaps I am pretty paranoid. In fact I know that I am. Even after seven children over a twenty-year span, it does not get any easier!

My eldest son Mike was the worst even when he was with us. He would just wander off and a huge panic would ensue. We began to dress him in the brightest clothing that we could find! He never got too far, but boy did he try. He is twenty-four this year and still marches ahead of us when we go out!

Mike aged four

Perhaps I know too much now. Ignorance is bliss. After working in a Prison, I learnt too much. At the time, my older kids were growing up and I didn't have these darling babies. Now I worry. Too much. I wonder what other people do to cope with letting their children participate in field trips and the like. I would love to know.

Freezing in Florida...

Today it is pretty cold in Florida which feels quite strange. We've lived here for more than four years now and I have never known it to be so cold by almost April~ just saying!

Back in England, on cold mornings children across the Country would be given 'Ready Brek' for breakfast~a kind of porridge made of oats and flour that you add warm milk to. Commercials showed children who ate Ready Brek as walking around with a glow to them. I grew up with it and my older children loved it. I haven't seen anything similar here, but my lovely family shipped some out to me. I thought today would be a great time for the boys to try it.

Today it comes in little sachets along with a strawberry flavoring to add. I didn't see this and gave the boys it alone. It wasn't quite the hit I thought it would be. Next time I'll add the sauce!

The boys also got a chance to wear their dressing gowns. They haunted me until I gave in and bought them one each. We don't really need them here. I am still bemused at how excited my boys get when they get a chance to wear mud boots, or a coat, hat scarf, mittens etc. They seriously get hyped up. 

It soon became clear that they wanted the dressing gowns because they 'looked like Ninja's in them. A little 'Ahhhh' moment for me there. Today they were glad of them.

I've decided to get back into making crafts. I've always knitted on and off from being seven years old, and I took up sewing classes when I had my first baby at aged twenty-one, but left my sewing machine untouched for a few years before donating it when we moved here. I guess that with the boys being so close in age and being 1,2, & 3 when we moved here, it was just chaos so there was no 'me' time at all. Now they're 5,6, & 7 I find that I have more time to fill while they play happily together. Rio starts school full-time in August so I won't be following him around the house picking up all day.

Two weeks ago my husband treated me to a new sewing machine! I am so thrilled. I am also quite nervous as it's been a long time...

Last night we all went to 'Jo-Ann fabrics. My husband had told me about it and I expected a little mom and pop store so imagine my surprise when it was so similar to Michael's! I was in my element. Sadly I found the fabrics to be much more expensive than I had found on-line, and a little old fashioned for my tastes, so I gave them a miss, but I loved the rest of the store and have seen some cool projects that I will try in the near future.

The boys came out with some cool Dr. Seuss pencils.

Now that we know we will be staying here for another year at least, I am re-arranging the furniture and being quite ruthless in my spring cleaning. Yesterday my husband was quite distressed when I asked him to take a pair of lamps and a barrel themed bedside cabinet from the boys room, to Goodwill for me. He came home and told me how much the guy there loved the cabinet. I tried to explain how someone else will love that cabinet but we no longer have a need for it. I didn't mention to him that I saw our lamps in Lowes last night selling for $50 each!

 He has such a problem parting with things. He held onto a TV set that he was given when he was sixteen, right up until we moved here thirty years later! When I first met him, he had a garage full of brand new 'must have' items that had never been opened. That's how I learned to sell on e bay. We had to be ruthless and only export the items that we really needed.

The boys have a little Ikea table between their beds now that is much more compact.

I'm almost finished decorating Milano & Rio's room. We're just adding the finishing touches to it. I've just painted it a very pale aqua and am using red accents and a vintage theme. We also purchased some plastic guttering last night with the intention of making a book shelf. I've seen it done on one of my favorite blogs at home stories a to z and have wanted to try it myself for sometime now, but wasn't sure how long we would be staying here. watch this space for photo's of how it turns out!

Finally I have to tell you about these cool clothes pins from one of my favorite etsy shops: one more sunshine, that I have bought. I've just ordered my third set. They feature the 'Goodnight Moon' illustrations and I use them in the family room to string up photo's of the boys.

Have a great day!

...what a ride!

It's been a while...

I have wanted to write but things have been pretty tumultuous here over the last few weeks. I have sat in front of my computer screen, with my fingers hesitating over the keyboard whilst I tired to put into words what was happening in our lives. But it was negative. I didn't want to write a negative post and so instead I posted photos of beautiful topiary and gardens that make me smile.

I'm hoping that things are smoothing out now. We've weathered the storm for now and can now exhale. 

I'll put it in a nutshell so I can move past it onto greener pastures.

Firstly my lovely cousin ~the youngest grandchild who has a special place in all our hearts, went for a routine mammogram and discovered that she had full blown cancer. She had her breast removed a week later. As quick as that. She is now in her 4th round of chemotherapy but by all accounts is doing really well ~ although she feels like cr*p right now. I cannot imagine how she is coping, the shock, the operation and then the chemo, all within a couple of weeks. She is updating us through Facebook and e mails, but tells me that her biggest concern is losing her hair. She'll rock the look if anyone can!

Something like this makes you stop in your tracks and think how swiftly our comfortable lives can change in a heartbeat. 

Our son Milano ~ our feisty little man, has been having anger outbursts at school and we are trying to work with them to help him. He gets frustrated easily when he cannot do something, and he hates any change in routine. We wanted him to have a health check up just in case his outbursts had a medical root (my figuring was to do a test for diabetes) whilst at the same time we counselled him.

The first tests ruled out diabetes, so we were relieved, but the tests came back showing an excessive amount of calcium in his body and very low iron so more testing was needed.

We did what most parents probably do. We researched on the Internet what this could point to, thinking that it was something mild. All sites shouted one word to us: Leukemia. In a few seconds our world was rocked! This was just an Internet search and not the results of tests, but in that fraction of a second, we knew that our world at that point, hung on a thread and may change forever.

Three weeks and several more tests later we are thanking God that this too has been ruled out. However those three weeks have been hell on earth for us as parents. We were forced to face a potential situation that thousands of other parents are having to live through every day. We were petrified. Every day leading up until it was finally excluded, I awoke feeling sick to my stomach. How would we cope? What would we do? Every time I looked at him I was imagining trying to live without a happy healthy Milano. Then I realized that my cousin was facing up to all of this every day, every time she wakes up. We had a gentle reminder that life is precious, other people aren't so lucky.

Milano has always been the child that excesses happen to. What I mean is that when he gets sick, he gets real sick. Chicken Pox was uncomfortable for his two brothers but life threatening for him. He has allergies to so many different foods and chemicals that we cannot keep up with them. Each time he suffers, his face changes, his airways tighten and his eyes bulge. It can be quite scary. Now he has an antihistamine every day, and we carry tablets with us for every time we eat out. It is under control for now. This week he has been diagnosed as Asthmatic too.

My youngest 'big kid' Jake who is now nineteen, suffered similarly when he was born. He spent most of his first year of life in and out of hospital. He had Asthma too. His birthday cakes were made from an old war time recipe for egg less cakes. He couldn't tolerate much at all, far worse than Milano I guess, but they said he would grow out of it and he did. By aged ten he was able to tolerate most foods, although he still steers clear of peanuts just in case!

As I'm typing this my husband has just called me to say that we were unsuccessful in our appeal to win back our home. He's devastated, as am I. 

We knew it was a long shot but we did our best. Now my husband informs me that they'll be coming after him for $300,000 of which  $30,000 is their Lawyers fees. Strange isn't it, how our costs were $9000 and yet they can justify $30,000? It looks like we may have to go bankrupt now. We have no money to give them.We had put a down payment of $169,000 on that house, all gone now. Years of saving, and selling all gone because of one greedy man that who set us on our road to ruin

That court case is still pending. We're just waiting for a final deposition to be taken and then we can hand the case over to the State Attorney's office. We'll have finished all the areas that they requested that we look into. Hopefully we can eventually bring this man to justice. I doubt we'll see any of our money back from him though...

And so you can see why I haven't writing here for a time.

but I can't leave it at this. I refuse to end a post on a negative note so other news...

The boys had their hair cut. I was sad to see their longer baby locks cut off. They all look very much alike now. Three different barbers, each seemed to take off a little more hair than the other! They look cute still, but my babies seem all grown up now.

My son Jake, who I mentioned earlier, has decided to join the British Army and will find out in a couple of weeks if he has been successful. My fingers are crossed for him though I know it's not my dream choice of career for my child. Jake is very excited.

My eldest daughter Nicki has managed to secure a full time position in the food industry that she has been working towards for some years now. After having only part time work for the last five years she has finally found a full-time position, so she is not having to work two jobs to supplement her income any more. 

My youngest daughter, Sophie has also struck oil in that she has secured a full time permanent career in Banking after a series of temporary positions. The small town where I am originally from is very depressed and jobs are incredibly difficult to find. I have been lucky that my children have all managed to stay in work when many others couldn't find employment there at all, but it is so heartwarming to see that they are all now in full-time permanent employment now.

And my Eldest son Mike is still working for a major Bank in Britain but still wants to pursue an acting career. He has done lots of stage work and has been an extra on 'Attonement' and apparently was on a show called 'Geordie Shore' last night ~ the British equivalent to Jersey Shore I guess! So at this point I have to say I am content that my big kids are making progress in the world!

I'm looking to seeing them all, yes ALL, over Halloween week and Cairo's birthday.

So life is just...Life at the moment. One minute we're up, then next minute we're down. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. 

The house news today is bad, but I think we can now put a line under it and move forward. Who knows what wonderful experiences are waiting for us?

I read this sign on Facebook that a friend posted: 

Priceless! that's just how I feel. Have a great day x

Happy Valentine's day 2013...

I planned a day of cookies and cakes, garlands and garnishes...

Then I woke up really sick ....

I am trying to find the strength to get the house in some semblance of order, but I think Daddy will be icing the cakes today.

We may have to postpone until tomorrow.

Luckily the boys have a party at school...

They may be 'caked out' when they come home.

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours..

share the love today and everyday.....